Update 6: 409 Days to go!

With each month that passes, I am more and more grateful to have a longer engagement. I think about doing everything in less than a year and it makes my stomach turn!

Today’s post is a little different than the others I’ve done in this part of my blog. As an update, since getting my gown, we selected our caterer and photographer for the big day! We are thrilled to have those secured so we can wrap up the process of finding our main vendors. Now, we only have DJ, florist, and bakery left! Our goal is to have them chosen by the one year mark (or somewhere around then) since we’ll be getting ready for our new home this summer. To have the big stuff off the wedding to-do will be a huge help.

It just so happens that tonight’s entry is actually about these vendors and our experience thus far. Over the past few days, I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with a potential DJ about his company and services. Let me tell you something; whoever wrote the primary “sales pitch” email knew what they were doing. It was personable, kind, and incredibly appealing. Unfortunately, he is out of our price range.

The more we do for the wedding, the more we want to come up under budget. I had to politely tell this DJ that he was just too far out of our price range for comfort, but he was incredibly kind in his response. Now, here is where the point of this entry comes out: I am sad to say that not everyone has been so well spoken in a similar situation.

If you’ve read this section of my blog, you may recall our experience with the first vendor we met with… well, ever. You can read my post on the subject, but here is the gist: the owner was defensive, not concerned with our experience, oh, and drunk. So far, I’ve spoken to at least a dozen different vendors and only a couple have been poor experiences; but if you’ve ever planned an event and had to deal with it, then you know they stand out.

I hate sales. I don’t like sales pitches. But I understand them. I work in a business where sales is a necessary evil. BUT, what do I hate more?

Passive aggressive sales pitches.

I don’t like having to tell a vendor “no.” I understand that they are trying to gain my business and what that feels like. Plus, I have a heart, so it’s not “easy” to tell someone I don’t want to work with them. But the most notable instance of a crappy response was a DJ I reached out to (referred to henceforth as DJ 1). I won’t throw out a name, but the response I got was passive aggressive and made me feel ‘bad’ for having a budget. Safe to say, I didn’t respond after that.

After politely telling DJ 1 we didn’t have the flexibility in our budget to afford his services, he responded by telling me that they recognize they are more expensive and that is because of their quality. The gentleman I was speaking with the past few days (DJ 2) said the same thing, but in a much nicer way. DJ 1 decided to tell me their clients are the brides and grooms who have witnessed DJs single-handedly ruining a wedding (something I mentioned as an experience of ours) and that they are willing to pay more for a “premium” service. The email was cold overall—fine. But he ended the spiel after all that with “how important is your wedding entertainment to you?”

-_-  Is it just me? Maybe you had to be there.

For my own confirmation, receiving the email I did this morning from DJ 2, which had the same point, though expressed in a much more respectful way, made me think even less of the email DJ 1 sent. Even when I sent DJ 2 a second email saying it still wouldn’t work, he sent me the loveliest email saying that I will have a “fantastic wedding, a beautiful home, and a beautiful family!” This guy was so nice, I contemplated saying “screw the budget!”

Here’s my point: if you are a bride or groom: be on the lookout for this kind of behavior. Maybe it doesn’t bother you, but I see our vendors as members of our team. I am so excited to work with our venue, caterer, and photographer (shout out to Elizabeth, if you’re reading this hah). They should be respectful, make a great connection, but most of all, give you confidence that they are on your side and are eager to make your day special.

If you are a vendor (or in sales in general): let this be a lesson—I’m certainly going to remember it in my line of work. Words are powerful… they have the power to make or break a sale, so choose wisely and here’s a tip: don’t go the passive aggressive route. Be kind. Be understanding. And don’t be a jerk.

Because you probably won’t get the sale, and you may lose potential clients as a result.



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