I ended last night with a journal entry, so I am starting today with a blog post.
Good morning, everyone, and happy Wednesday (which feels like Tuesday—aka my kind of Wednesday). By now, most people are back in the swing of their routines, slowly creeping out of the bitterness that comes with going back to work after the holidays. For me, the transition has been smooth, because we are super busy right now. However, my first full day back at work yesterday came with a real challenge.
That challenge reared its ugly head at 10am. I can’t recall what I went to look at, but I tilted my head slightly to do so. Upon resuming a neutral position, the lag between the time it took for my head to be upright and my vision to match, began it’s slow, dizzying stretch. My vertigo lasted the entire day and night from that point, with constant spinning from 10–4. After 4, it was intermittent, but still happening.
If you’ve been following along, you’ll also know 10:30/11am is around the time I like to do my workouts. I pushed those until noon to see if that would give the vertigo time to subside, but it didn’t. I was faced with a choice: let my condition stop me (after a week of skipping workouts due to the holidays and illness) or accept the challenges and see where it goes. I chose the latter.
Each time I exercise, I need to do so with caution. I get vertigo every day—sometimes in small amounts here and there and sometimes so bad, I’m left with no option but to lay in bed—so exercising cautiously is already part of the routine. However, this was the first time I went into a workout on a medium/bad day—a day when I was already spinning. The workout itself wasn’t actually so bad. I had to work harder to figure out the best way to move my head and eyes, needed to take each new workout slowly until I figured out how much it triggered the spinning, and had to be aware of my surroundings. I stumbled a few times, but it wasn’t debilitating.
But then I had to lay down for crunches.
This, I needed to fight through. I knew I would be laying down, so there was no fear of falling or getting hurt. But I laid there for a second watching the ceiling spin above me, fully understanding this was going to be an experience. But, I did it. I finished the workout, ended up getting sick after the nausea kicked in, and moved on with my day.
Just this morning, I was scrolling through the Vestibular Migraine group I’m part of on Facebook and there was one woman—who has a great sense of humor—who commented that “[she] got fat.” Cue the flood of comments saying the same thing has happened to a ton more people. Now, many seem to feel it’s whichever medication they are on (and I’m taking a natural route, as opposed to medications), but many people, like me, feel unsafe with this condition (and rightly so). I work with it each time I exercise, but have to believe that being active and healthy is only going to make me better.
We all have obstacles when it comes to our health and no two people are exactly alike. I’m sharing this because there is no “one way” to do things and we all have unique needs and challenges. But, just like the exercises themselves, there are modifications you can take with everything. I know I have days when exercising isn’t an option. Like I said, I was constantly spinning for 6 hours yesterday and that was medium/bad—not my worst day. But, on the days I am well enough to exercise, I should.
2018 is a year of great change in our lives and I’m starting right here with my own self. I am putting better things into my body, trying to tune into my needs with more care, and placing my attention on not just my physical health, but my mental health as well. It’s why I’m blogging right now instead of tackling the mound of work I have to do. Living with Vestibular Migraine is part of the package now and I’m ready to keep working at getting healthier with it in tow.